my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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