question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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