Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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