So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
