So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
