You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
