Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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