I am puke
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
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