At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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