Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize