Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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