im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
