Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
