Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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