its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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