Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
