I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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