fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
