Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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