Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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