Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
