a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
