does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
