she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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