We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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