Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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