I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
