I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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