question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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