what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
