Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I want to be your penis for a week.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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