Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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