I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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