the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
