i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
