he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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