Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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