We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
