Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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