I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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