Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
