Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
