I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
