We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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