He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
