If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
