Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
