return my video game
I CAN MOONWALK!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Never underestimate the power of titties
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize