I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
