Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
the liver wants what the liver wants
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
