the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Enjoy the penises
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
