I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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