If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
