I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
