There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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