I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
