somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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