we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
