Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
