maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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